They wear plaid button-ups; matcha practically flows through their bloodstreams. They adjust their wired earphones as they prowl down aisles of thrift stores, a Labubu clinking against their tote bags full of feminist literature. They boast about their curated “soft” Spotify playlists, songs depicting yearning and melancholy, attempting to woo the objects of their affection. They’ve spread across every state, represented in every school — but who are they truly?
Performative men are boys, typically heterosexual men, who adopt a portrayal of someone who appears sensitive, emotionally intelligent, and aligns with “soft boy” culture. The label given to them is exactly what they are: boys creating a fake sense of self to impress other people.
These characteristics aren’t out of genuine care or interest, instead aiming to gain attention from women in hopes of seeming more “likeable.”
“It all feels weird to me,” said QUEST senior, Ketura Espinoza, her words fueled by both confusion and distaste towards the thought. She admitted that she’s seen the uprising of men indulging in “unconventional interests”, but didn’t know there was a proper label. “You have to put on someone else’s shoes just for other people to like you. If someone is going to like you, they’re going to like you for who you truly are.”
Men who put on facades to appear more progressive, who have accomplished the exact opposite, have grown dramatically in the past year, accumulating so much attention to the point where several female artists such as Laufey and Clairo have called out this current generation’s men for their faux authenticity.
PEACE sophomore, Natasha Chhiv, said, “ I dress in a way different than what many would,
but I wouldn’t change my appearance. Someone truly fated to befriend you will appreciate your authenticity.”
In my opinion, any sort of alteration to seem more acceptable is something many others pick up on, even if someone thinks they’ve perfected an ideal image of themselves. Glimpses of your true self slip through cracks that haven’t been refined, honest personalities and mentality begging to come to light. Being genuine, both in personality and physicality, is something that makes people gravitate towards you to begin with.
“If you’re going to fake to impress, it’s natural to do that at the beginning of a relationship. It’s something that just happens., Mr. Wilson, an AP Literature teacher, acknowledged this concept, expressed his disappointment towards the idea, as being true to one’s self is something he prioritizes in both his classwork and everyday life. “However, I think that only works for six months max. Then, that facade starts to wear off, your secret’s revealed, and the real you comes out. The other person would think, ‘Was it fake? Have they changed?’, when the whole thing could be avoided if you were just yourself.”
